#MeToo; A dreamer for harassment free world!

 A decade back, an activist Tarana Burke created a campaign called MeToo, to help the survivors of sexual harassment. The floodgates were reopened on Sunday night when American Actress Alyssa Milano kicked off the movement by posting on behalf of her friend that any woman who has suffered sexual nuisance could tweet #MeToo, so that people would get a serious idea about the sheer magnitude of the problem. 

May it be a verbal abuse or stalking or inappropriate touching. Within hours, tweets with the words “me too” began appearing in masses, women across the globe started joining in with their own tales. For some, the pervert was a stranger and for few, it was their own family member or a colleague or a boss.

For a lot of people, #metoo is empowering, giving them an opportunity to break their silence in an atmosphere of acceptance. While many people are praising the guts of the women who are posting it, there are others who just say nothing is going to change because of this.

True, nothing is going to stop because of this. But at least it can be the beginning of a fight. It can be a moment of realization for women that “You are the only person who can defend yourself; no one will come to rescue, so be brave and confident.”

Most of the times, those devils who tease or try to harass will step back if you raise your voice. They cannot take it up when you react, yell, protest or fight back. You don't need to know Martial arts to protect you. Anything and everything you have, may it be an object or just words can help defend. Rather than being a victim, it's high time we learn how to respond to a crucial situation.  

Let the dream of harassment-free environment come true with the way we bring up our kids. Gender-biased rules or discipline should be eliminated. Each and every individual has to be self-disciplined, mannered and empathetic.

Let harassment become history!

P.S Thanks for going through my article. I'm sure you would have more strategies that worked for you. Please share them in the comments section below. Would love to hear from you!

A gratitude to the man who loves me to the core!

 It’s my favorite day today, my birthday. When a special person is around you, you would love that day, right? For the whole week, I woke up to find a surprise gift lying for me to be opened, every single day :-). You can imagine how much a girl would fly when she receives a gift. There’s no better feeling than feeling loved.  

But, I was feeling too emotional and guilty too. Because I knew how busy he was for the past few weeks. Working from 9 am to 1 am the next day, on all days is not an easy thing.  He literally had no time to think about anything, not even about his sleep or relaxing a bit or some time for himself.  I wondered how he managed to go and buy those gifts, came to know that he bought everything on a single day and kept them at his desk. Each day while leaving office (around 12.30 or 1 am), even if he was overblown with a hectic day’s work, he never forgot to pick the gift for that morning.  

We had plans of going to temple and for a lunch out today. By the time I was doing some clean up after the breakfast and getting ready, he was still working. Usually, when he works, he will be very diligent and totally into it. But today morning he never uttered a single word that he had something on his plate which he has to complete before tonight. The day was just awesome with a good Dharshan at temple, lovely food and with some shopping.  As we reached home a bit early, I thought I can finish the laundry so that I will have some buffer time for preparing Diwali sweets the next day. Usually, after a tiresome day, he would prefer going for a nap. Was expecting the same today, but to my surprise, he was on his laptop. Little concerned, I asked “Do you have to work kanna?” and he said just a bit and will be done in a while. So I continued with my pending work. Of late, I found he was on a call with one of his techie friends and the work mode was turned ON gradually. (He was still in his world of work even by the time I posted this)

The person on the other side of the call seems to have committed to his family that they would dine out today. Meanwhile, VJ was working on something, person X took them out for a quick dinner and came back to join the work.  Who said men never keep up their words. They do! That is why they are able to squeeze in and spend some quality time with their kids, whenever possible. That is why they manage to take their family for a weekend outing even if they wanted to laze around. And that’s why they don’t have any time for themselves. They just do everything, every single thing for their family. Happiness in the family alone can bring smiles on his face.

Please do not ask me “Are we, women not dedicated or sacrificing for the sake of the family?”  It’s all about mutual support and bonding which we build. He is the backbone for her and She is the backbone for him. Let’s value each other and Let Love Grow!!!

P.S Thank you for going through my article. Your comments would add more value to my blog. So please share your feedback in the comments section below.

Are you doing too much for your child? – You’re not helping them long term

 We love our kids so much that we want to do everything for them, right from waking them up in the morning, packing their school bags, keeping their shoes polished, picking up after them until doing their bed for sleep; it makes us feel content and happy. We think this is one way of letting them know how much we love and care for them. But really, we have to STOP doing that for our kids. Because we are doing more harm than good! 

By a certain age, children are capable of doing many things for themselves. Even a two-year-old is competent enough to put their sippy cup in the sink, throw the trash in the trash can, clean up their toys. If we make it as a habit, they tend to follow. Put it this way, kids of today are capable of handling all gadgets, won't they be able to manage their simple duties? The raw truth is we are afraid of taking the pain of teaching them few times and wait patiently for them to accomplish the task. Especially when we are in a hurry or need something to be done quickly, it is easier to just take charge and do it ourselves.

No matter, why we do it. It's not healthy, it does nothing to serve their needs in life. We need to realize that our child will spend innumerable hours away from us, and there are things that they need to be able to do on their own.

As parents, we need to empower our kids to be independent and capable of handling their own situation when they can be, so they will grow up into more responsible and confident adults. For tots and kids, we can give age-appropriate chores, break tasks into small pieces and teach one step at a time, trust me they will enjoy doing them. Let them wash their soiled plates, put the dirty clothes in the laundry basket, fold their clothes, clean their room. They may take some extra time to finish it off, but they'll get to learn. That's more important. It's absolutely ok to do things when we are running late. At the same time, ensure they learn that they are responsible for their action/belongings. Let them learn to face the consequences, for the uncompleted job.

Once our child enters into middle school, I think we have to step back a little. Let them manage things on their own. Pitch in and help only when they “struggle”. If we tend to save them every single time, they will be habituated and take everything for granted. Never try to jump in and “fix” the situation. The more we do for them, we are making them feel inadequate. Help, but don’t take over.

It is a fine line and a hard line to walk.  When to do and when t0 stop - identify that. Definitely, it will differ for each child. Remember to tailor your approach, based on your child’s needs. Maybe we'll need to explain things over and over until the child really understands. Or find creative ways to teach and reinforce new skills. As I always state in my other articles, a mom knows her child better than anyone else. 

Love doesn’t mean doing and giving everything kids ask for. Love means doing the right thing at the right time. That's what our parents did for us, right?  Happy Parenting!

P.S When it comes to raising a kid, there isn't always one single methodology. Each kid is different and so are the strategies too. Would love to hear from you, what works for your child? Please share your experience in the comments box below.