Kids get disappointed easily. A mixed emotion of sadness, hurt, anger and frustration is never easy for them to handle. As parents, our heart aches for their pain and intuitively, we want to comfort them. So we hover around and try to protect them at all costs. But, that may not be correct.
No matter how old your child, he or she might have to deal with day-to-day mini disappointments. Whether it’s winning a race, their play time being ruined by rain, not invited for a play, not being the best friend of someone they like, getting low grades and so on. These are part of growing up; let kids have their fair share of disappointments at an early age. Our job is to teach them how to bounce back so that they can cope better for future letdowns.
Here are some tips to help them handle disappointments:
Listen, Just Listen;
When a child is disappointed, hurt or upset and is opening up to talk, they won’t be ready to listen for any advises/suggestions. The minute a child says “He did that to me”, “She said that to me”, we tend to react and start telling them what is right and wrong. But, the best thing would be to “listen” without interrupting. Half the problem will be solved, the moment they realize we are listening to them.
Teach your child to calm himself
There is a strategy song in Daniel Tiger’s Neighbourhood series (PBSKids). When you feel so mad, that you want to roar, take a deep breath. And count to four 1, 2,3,4... This would work for my 6 year old. Find a self-calming technique that works for your child. They can be something like taking deep breaths, drinking the magic calming juice(water), writing down their feelings, reading a book, physical movements like running, jumping, dancing etc., Kids should be able to figure out calming down on their own by the time they turn 10 or even before that.
Learn from the incident!
Once they have calmed down and when they’re in a good mood, talk to them. Show your care and love. Ask questions like “What do you think of this situation” or “Why do you think he behaved like that” or “Do you think we can find a way out of it?” Asking questions makes them feel important and also helps them understand the situation better. Remind them how good it felt when they bounced back from a past letdown.
It is important to let the child know that they are always loved for who they are. Help them develop healthy self-esteem and a lifelong ability to cope with setbacks, which is a valuable gift you can give your children.
Hope you found this interesting! If you have any other ideas to help children handle disappointment, please share them in the comments section below. Sure it will be useful to other parents as well!
Until next time, Happy Parenting!
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